God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the differenceUnknown
In my 20’s and early 30’s when I was reckless with my money, spending every last cent, I was never satisfied.
Three dinners out last week? Four would be nicer.
New apartment with all the trimmings? I’m bored of this house now. I want bigger and better.
This is known as hedonic adaptation. The constant chase for newer and nicer things.
We idolise these ‘things’ because we think they bring us happiness. And the trap for us is that they do bring happiness.
The problem is though, it is only short term fleeting happiness. We adjust to our new levels of comfort and then it is not so special. Then we go back to desiring even more. It’s a never-ending cycle of never being satisfied, but thinking that you will be.
Not until I discovered the concept of financial independence did I start being wiser with my money. But one amazing unintended benefit has been that I am now so much more grateful for all that I have. The constant search for more has gone and I must say it is extremely freeing not having to worry or rely on that any more.
Tips for fighting off spending impulses
Negative visualisation
This has helped me the most. I am a natural spender. Saving doesn’t come easy to me.
Instead of searching to add things in to your life to bring you happiness, negative visualisation takes things away from you to help you be grateful for what you have.
Basically it is visualising things that could go wrong in your life. It is not an exercise in torturing yourself.
For example, imagine a life without:
Running water
A loving partner/family
A fridge/pantry full of food
A cell phone, electricity, and so on
Basically anything in your life.
It may scare you at first, but all of a sudden you will become extremely grateful that you have not lost those things. You still have them.
Voluntary discomfort
Similar to negative visualisation, but you actually go as far as removing some things, even if only for a short time.
Sleeping on the floor for a night or two
Having cold showers for a week
Leave your phone behind for a week. Or if you can’t do that, at least get off social media for a week.
Try biking to work instead of taking the car
The point is by making yourself uncomfortable, you will gain confidence for what you can achieve with less. You are better than you think.
long term thinking
Long term contentedness is much greater than short term happiness.
The most common areas to achieve long term contentedness are:
Social connections
Being challenged
Finding purpose
Learning and growth as an individual
Autonomy
Gratitude
Health and leisure
So, if you can tick of some of those boxes you will be well on your way to long term joy. A lot of these things can be free or low cost too!
Whereas, if you are unhealthy, have little control over your life decisions, don’t have strong purpose, and limited social connections, you are much more likely to fall victim to hedonic adaptation and looking for your happiness elsewhere. From shiny new toys and gadgets.
Final Thoughts
Sure, you can try all the tricks such as avoiding certain supermarket aisles or websites, or delaying the decision by a week to see if you still feel the same way.
But wouldn’t it be much better if you didn’t have to fight it all the time?
Instead of having a constant battle with yourself, it is much better to try and change your overall mindset so that you don’t want so many things in the first place.
The common theme here is gratitude.
These are deep personal changes that can take time. In the meantime, here are some other tips that you can implement immediately.
So, if you having trouble saving money, try and think about what you currently have in your life and what it is like without some of those things. You may realise you have more than enough and life may become much less of a battle with yourself.
The information contained on this site is the opinion of the individual author(s) based on their personal opinions, observation, research, and years of experience. The information offered by this website is general education only and is not meant to be taken as individualised financial advice, legal advice, tax advice, or any other kind of advice. You can read more of my disclaimer here